119 Communication
119 Communication


Constructive Conflict

There is much to learn in this life about communication. For me in the past, conflict was something to be avoided. But with communication comes conflict. And when done right, communication (and subsequent constructive conflict) can be productive, exploratory, and interesting.

119.001 Conflict - Six steps to constructive conflict
119.002 Conflict - More communication means more conflict
119.003 Conflict - Are you there for me
119.004 Conflict - Choose the right time and place for a difficult conversation
119.005 Conflict - How to start difficult conversations
119.006 Conflict - Is this fight about what you think it's about
119.007 Conflict - Know what question you want answered
119.008 Conflict - Paraphrase the other person in order to have an efficient conversation
119.009 Conflict - Acknowledge feelings
119.010 Conflict - The 4 sins of conflict
119.011 Conflict - Safe words
119.012 Conflict - Know when to JUST STOP
119.013 Conflict - What's behind the impasse
119.014 Conflict - Memorialize your agreements

Notes: This is a book I picked up because I promised Monique that I would try to find something effective at helping us work through difficult conversations, to lock in and supplement the time we've spent with Michele.

Nonviolent communication

This book by Marshall B Rosenberg has been life changing for me. I have become a much better listener, I can resolve conflict faster, I feel more connected to people around me.

I am far from mastering the art of NVC. It is simple on the surface, but mastery means understanding people and their motivations at a deeper level than I am currently capable of.

119.015 NVC - How NVC connects to my life mission
119.016 NVC - NVC helps avoid the 4 sins of conflict
119.017 NVC - How to get what I want even when being screamed at
119.018 NVC - It is difficult for me to put a descriptive word to feelings
119.019 NVC - The steps of outbound NVC
119.020 NVC - The steps of inbound NVC
119.021 NVC - NVC in a single sentence
119.022 NVC - Examples of NVC in action
119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
119.024 NVC - Don't take it personally
119.025 NVC - Nobody else is responsible for my feelings
119.026 NVC - Demands move us farther apart
119.027 NVC - Ask the other person if they're willing to do their part
119.028 NVC - Should and Have To will not be in my vocabulary
119.029 NVC - Avoid criticizing by separating observation and evaluation
119.030 NVC - The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence
119.031 NVC - State observations with specific time and context
119.032 NVC - Do not imply judgement
119.033 NVC - Vulnerability opens up conversations
119.034 NVC - A vocabulary of feelings words
119.035 NVC - State your needs
119.036 NVC - I am not responsible for the emotions of other people
119.037 NVC - Follow up feelings with a clear request
119.038 NVC - Every statement is also a request
119.039 NVC - If it is an important request ask the other person to repeat it back
119.040 NVC - If not sure what another person is requesting just ask them
119.041 NVC - Most other people are not good communicators
119.042 NVC - Translate people's communication into their needs
119.043 NVC - Intellectual understanding blocks empathy
119.044 NVC - re. Emotional outbursts
119.045 NVC - When paraphrasing be careful with tone of voice
119.046 NVC - Reflecting back is surprisingly effective at creating connection
119.047 NVC - Keep giving empathy
119.048 NVC - Interrupt with empathy
119.049 NVC - The hardest part of communication is staying present for it
119.050 NVC - Am I talking bad about myself - I must have unmet needs
119.051 NVC - Self-forgiveness not self-punishment
119.052 NVC - I choose to ...... because I want .....
119.053 NVC - Escape shame and guilt with open eyes
119.054 NVC - Act out of obligation or duty with open eyes
119.055 NVC - I give up control and agency when I blame others
119.056 NVC - Judging somebody is violence toward them
119.057 NVC - Am I angry - Wake up, your emotions are hijacking your brain
119.058 NVC - Punishing somebody is a terrible way to get what I want
119.059 NVC - When others hear blame they shut down and defend themselves
119.060 NVC - Help others through conflict by helping them understand needs and conflicts

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