Get what you want by helping them get what they want
I tend to react with defensiveness or annoyance when somebody else is expressing their displeasure about me.
Why?
Why is my attention focused on determining why they are wrong instead of listening to and understanding them? Why am I not paying more attention to what they need, but not getting, to make them feel this way?
If what I really want is for the other person to understand me, and my intentions, then the worst way to get it is to validate their own anger/annoyance/lack of attention by doing exactly what they’re accusing me of!
The best way to get what I want, almost without exception, is to help them get what they want first. It feels backwards, and it is hard for my ego to accept, but it has proven true over-and-over again.
Graph:
- 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want to 125.009 Books - Nonviolent Communication - Marshall B Rosenberg
- 107.009 Philosophy - Philosophy is applied wisdom to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 107.025 Philosophy - Render yourself worthy to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 107.029 Philosophy - Malice toward none, charity for all to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 116.096 Life Lessons - When emotions override my higher consciousness to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 116.102 Life Lessons - Don't fall off the map to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119 Communication to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.024 NVC - Don't take it personally to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.027 NVC - Ask the other person if they're willing to do their part to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.035 NVC - State your needs to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.063 Effective - Understand the other person's need to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 131.009 Leadership - Lift others up even at cost to yourself to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 131.014 Leadership - Allow others to think it was their idea to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 133.013 Hiring - Hire diverse kinds of people with different ways of thinking to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 134.01.03 Newton - Law of action and reaction to 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want