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Six steps to constructive conflict

  1. Pick the right time and place to talk about difficult matters - 119.004 Conflict - Choose the right time and place for a difficult conversation
  2. Start nice, start easy, say nice, complimentary things to start - 119.005 Conflict - How to start difficult conversations
  3. Pay no attention to the alarm going off in your head. Try to be on the same side of the table (metaphorically), looking at the problem on the other side. Don’t be evil.
  4. Know what question you’re asking, and know that you’ll be satisfied if it’s answered. Don’t expect the other person to fix things they have no control over - 119.007 Conflict - Know what question you want answered
  5. Paraphrase what the other person is asking, with the intent to learn from and about him/her, always acknowledging feelings. 119.008 Conflict - Paraphrase the other person in order to have an efficient conversation
  6. Be aware of, and call out the four sins of an unfair fight, no matter who commits them. - 119.010 Conflict - The 4 sins of conflict