It takes two to argue
No matter how blunt, stupid, annoying, or provoking a person seems, an argument can only happen if two people are involved.
It is a choice to argue, and I can choose to communicate with empathy instead.
It’s hard to not engage when my brain’s alarm is going off. But if I’m ever to be the thoughtful human that I want to be, in control of my own kingdom, that is exactly the time for me to express my anger productively with NVC:
- STOP and breath
- IDENTIFY my judgmental thoughts
- CONNECT with my needs
- EXPRESS my feelings/needs/requests
Most of the time, I will also need to offer empathy to the other person in-between steps 3 & 4 so that they have the capacity to hear me.
Graph:
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 107.023 Philosophy - Napoleon was calm under pressure
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 127.029 Philosophy - Malice toward none, charity for all
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 116.041 Life Lessons - When it counts is BEFORE all hell breaks loose
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 116.045 Life Lessons - If you ever have the urge to reply in a mean way
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 116.047 Life Lessons - He who best defines the problem usually wins
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.030 NVC - The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 116.096 Life Lessons - When emotions override my higher consciousness
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 116.098 Life Lessons - Distinguish between what I feel and what I think others feel
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 116.117 Life Lessons - The price of a mistake goes up tomorrow
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.003 Conflict - Are you there for me
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.010 Conflict - The 4 sins of conflict
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.017 NVC - How to get what I want even when being screamed at
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.019 NVC - The steps of outbound NVC
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.020 NVC - The steps of inbound NVC
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.024 NVC - Don't take it personally
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.025 NVC - Nobody else is responsible for my feelings
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.029 NVC - Avoid criticizing by separating observation and evaluation
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.041 NVC - Most other people are not good communicators
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.055 NVC - I give up control and agency when I blame others
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.057 NVC - Am I angry - Wake up, your emotions are hijacking your brain
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.058 NVC - Punishing somebody is a terrible way to get what I want
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 119.068 Communication - Lincoln didn't argue directly, he just delayed
- 119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue to 126.009.04 First Principles Thinking - It's not an attack