Folder:
119 Communication
File:
119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
Get what you want by helping them get what they want
I tend to react with defensiveness or annoyance when somebody else is expressing their displeasure about me.
Why?
Why is my attention focused on determining why they are wrong instead of listening to and understanding them? Why am I not paying more attention to what they need, but not getting, to make them feel this way?
If what I really want is for the other person to understand me, and my intentions, then the worst way to get it is to validate their own anger/annoyance/lack of attention by doing exactly what they're accusing me of!
The best way to get what I want, almost without exception, is to help them get what they want first. It feels backwards, and it is hard for my ego to accept, but it has proven true over-and-over again.
Graph:
- 119.024 NVC - Don't take it personally >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.035 NVC - State your needs >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.027 NVC - Ask the other person if they're willing to do their part >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.063 Effective - Understand the other person's need >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119 Communication >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want >> 116.045 Life Lessons - If you ever have the urge to reply in a mean way
- 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want >> 116.049 Life Lessons - You get what you give
- 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want >> 119.010.04 Conflict - Sins - Sin 2 - Defensiveness
- 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want >> 119.010.06 Conflict - Sins - Sin 2 - Avoiding defensiveness
- 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want >> 125.009 Books - Nonviolent Communication - Marshall B Rosenberg
- 133.013 Hiring - Hire diverse kinds of people with different ways of thinking >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 131.009 Leadership - Lift others up even at cost to yourself >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 131.014 Leadership - Allow others to think it was their idea >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 107.025 Philosophy - Render yourself worthy >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 107.009 Philosophy - My definition of philosophy >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 127.029 Philosophy - Malice toward none, charity for all >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 116.096 Life Lessons - When emotions override my higher consciousness >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want
- 116.102 Life Lessons - Don't fall off the map >> 119.023 NVC - Get what you want by helping them get what they want