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It takes two to argue

No matter how blunt, stupid, annoying, or provoking a person seems, an argument can only happen if two people are involved.

It is a choice to argue, and I can choose to communicate with empathy instead.

It’s hard to not engage when my brain’s alarm is going off. But if I’m ever to be the thoughtful human that I want to be, in control of my own kingdom, that is exactly the time for me to express my anger productively with NVC:

  1. STOP and breath
  2. IDENTIFY my judgmental thoughts
  3. CONNECT with my needs
  4. EXPRESS my feelings/needs/requests

Most of the time, I will also need to offer empathy to the other person in-between steps 3 & 4 so that they have the capacity to hear me.