I give up control and agency when I blame others
Are you mad!? Exceptionally angry!!? It is never somebody else's fault, and I give up control and agency when blaming somebody else. I am never angry because of what others say or do! There is simply a need of mine which is not being met.
There is nothing they can do or say.
There is no shame or guilt when I'm full of integrity and meeting my own needs in a way that doesn't hurt others.
Switch it up. Never say "I'm mad because they .....". Instead, say "I am mad because I am needing ....." (this takes a lot of practice, it doesn't come naturally)