How to get what I want. Even when being screamed at.
It's incredibly difficult to focus on another person's feelings and needs when my subconscious is screaming out that they're accusing, attacking, confused, over-emotional, etc.
But whatever I value, as long as it's not revenge or mutual destruction, I'll get what I want more quickly and with much less pain by allowing them to be heard, understand their feelings and where they're coming from, instead of returning the attack. Another way to say it is that it feels wrong to submit to and explore another person's vitriol and wrongness, but the easiest and fastest way to get what I want is to do it anyway.