INFLUENCE: The Principle of Reciprocation

"Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert Cialdini

Reciprocation

• One of the most potent weapons of influence around us - the rule for reciprocation. The rule says we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us.
• By virtue of the reciprocity rule, then, we are obligated to the future repayment of favors, gifts, invitations, and the like.
• It is so widespread that after intensive study, sociologists can report that there is no human society that does not subscribe to the rule.
• Because there is general distate for those who take and make no effort to give in return, we will often go to great lengths to avoid being considered one of their number.
• Joe brought people a Code without asking, then asked them to buy raffle tickets. Without question, Joe was more successful selling his raffle tickets to the subjects who had received his earlier favor. Apparently feeling that they owed him something, these subjects bought twice as many tickets as the subjects who had not been given the prior favor.
• The rule possesses awesome strength, often producing a "yes" response to a request that, except for an existing feeling indebtedness, would have surely been refused.
• There was a significant tendency for subjects to buy raffle tiects form Joe the more they liked him. But this alone is hardly a startling finding. Most of us would have guessed that people are more willing to do a vavor for someone they like.
• For those who owed him a favor, it made no difference whether they liked him or not; they felt a sense of obligation ot repay him, and they did. The subjects in that condition who indicated that they disliked Joe bought just as many of his tickets as did those who indicated that they liked him. The rule for reciprocity was so strong that it simply overwhelmed the influence of a factor - liking for the requestor - that normally affects the decision to comply.
• But now, before a donation is requested the target person is geven a "gift". The unsuspecting passerby who suddenly finds a flower pressed into his hands or pinned to his jacket is under no circumstances allowed to give it back, even if he asserts he does not want it. "No, it is a gift to you" says the solicitor, refusing to accept it. Only after the Krishna member has thus brought the force of reciprocation rule to bear on the situation is the target asked to provide a contribution.
• The reciprocity rule that empowers their tactic is too strong - and socially beneficial - for us to want to violate it.
• The beauty of the free sample, however, is that it is also a gift and, as such, can engage the reciprocity rule. In true jujitsu fashion, the promoter who gives free samples can release the natural indebting force inherent in a gift while innocently appearing to have only the intention to inform.
• Amway manual - "Leave the BUG with the customer 24, 48, or 72 hours, at no cost or obligation to her. Just tell her you would like her to try the products... That's an offer no one can refuse." --> Of course, by now you and I know that the customer who has accepted and used the BUG products has been trapped into facing the influence of reciprocity.
• The power of the reciprocity rule is such that by first doing us a favor, strange, disliked, or unwelcome, others can enhance the chance that we will comply with one of their requests.
• Another person can trigger a feeling of indebtedness by doing us an uninvited favor. Recall that the rule only states that we should provide to others the kind of actions they have provided us; it does not require us to have asked for what we have received in order to feel obligated to repay.
• "There is an obligation to give, an obligation to receive, and an obligation to repay." Although the obligation to repay constitutes the essence of the reciprocity rule, it is the obligation to receive that makes the rule so easy to exploit. The obligation to receive reduces our ability to choose whom we wish to be indebted to and puts that power in the hands of others.
• The extent to which even an unwanted favor, once received, can product indebtedness is aptly illustrated in the soliciting technique of the Hare Krishna Society.
• The nature of the reciprocity rule is such that a gift so unwanted that it was jettisoned at the first opportunity had none the less been effective and exploitable.
• There is a strong cultural pressure to reciprocate a gift, even an unwanted one; but there is no such pressure to purchase an unwanted commercial product.
• Paradoxically, the rule developed to promote equal exchanges between partners, yet it can be used to bring about decidedly unequal results. A small initial favor can produce a sense of obligation to agree to a substantially larger return favor.
• Small first favors often stimulate larger return favors. Most of us find it highly disagreeable to be in a state of obligation. It weighs heavily on us and demands to be removed. We are trained from childhood to chafe, emotionally, under the saddle of obligation. For this reason alone, then, we may be willing to agree to perform a larger favor than we received, merely to relieve ourselves of the psychological burden of debt.
• For the most part, there is a genuine dis-taste for individuals who fail to conform to the dictates of the reciprocity rule. Moocher and welsher are unsavory labels to be scrupulously shunned. So undesirable are they that we will sometimes agree to an unequal exchange in order to dodge them.
• If, instead of paying for them herself a woman allows a man to buy her drinks,she is immediately judged (by both men and women) as more sexually available to him.
• Rejection-then-retreat - "Well," he said, "If you don't want to buy any tickets, how about buying some big chocolate bars? They're only a dollar each."
• Rejection-then-retreat - One consequence of the rule is an obligation to repay favors we have received. another consequence of the rule, however, is an obligation to make a concession to someone who has made a concession to us.
• Rejection-then-retreat - I changed from non-compliant to compliant when he changed from a larger to a smaller request, even though I was not really interested in either of the things he offered.
• With the rule in effect, we can feel safe making the first sacrifice to our partner, who is obligated to offer a return sacrifice.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Because the rule for reciprocation governs the compromise process, it is possible to use an initial concession as part of a highly effective compliance technique. The technique is a simple one that we can call the rejection-then-retreat technique.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Provided you have structured your requests skillfully, I should view your second request as a concession to me and should feel inclined to respond with a concession of my own, the only one I would have immediately open to me - compliance with your second request.
• Rejection-then-retreat - The second request does not have to be small, it only has to be smaller than the initial one.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Labor negotiators, for instance, often use the tactic of beginning with the extreme demands that they do not actually expect to win but from which they can retreat in a series of seeming concessions designed to draw real concessions from the opposing side.
• Rejection-then-retreat - It would appear then, that the larger the initial request, the more effective the procedure, since there would be more room available for illusory concessions. This is true only up to a point, however.
• Rejection-then-retreat - If the first set of demands is so extreme as to be seen as unreasonable, the tactic backfires. In such cases, the party who has made the extreme first request is not seen to be bargaining in good faith.
• Rejection-then-retreat - The truly gifted negotiator, then, is one whose initial position is exaggerated enough to allow for a series of reciprocal concessions that will yield a desirable final offer from the opponent, yet is not so outlandish as to be seen as illegitimate from the start.
• The percentage of successful door-to-door sales increases impressively when the sales operator is able to mention the name of a familiar person who "recommended" the visit.
• Rejection-then-retreat - I was trained to take advantage of the opportunity to secure referrals offered by a customer's purchase refusal: "Well, if its your feeling that a fine set of encyclopedias is not right for you at this time, perhaps you could help me by giving the names of some others who might wish to take advantage of our companies great offer. What would be the names of these people you know?" Many individuals who would not otherwise subject their friends to a high-pressure sales presentation do agree to supply referrals when the request is presented as a concession from a purchase request they have just refused.
  
• Rejection-then-retreat - The tendency of a man to spend more money on a sweater following his purchase than before: After being exposed to the price of the large item, the price of the less expensive one appears smaller by comparison. In the same way, the larger-then-smaller request procedure makes use of the contrast principle by making the smaller request look even smaller by comparison with the larger one.
  
• If I want you to lend me $5 I can make it seem like a smaller request by first asking you to lend me $10. by first requesting $10 and then retreating to $5 I will have simultaneously engaged the force of the reciprocity rule and the contrast principle. Not only will my $5 request be viewed as a concession to be reciprocated, it will also look to you like a smaller request than if I had just asked for it straightaway.
• In combination, the influences of reciprocity and perceptual contrast can present a fearsomely powerful force. Embodied in the rejection-then-retreat sequence, their conjoined energies are capable of genuinely astonishing effects.
• The prospect is invariably shown the deluxe model first. If the customer buys, there is frosting on the stores cake. If the customer declines, the salesperson effectively counter-offers with a more reasonably prices model.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Nearly all the students who were about to give a pint of blood as a result of the rejection-then-retreat technique agreed to donate again later (84%) while less than 1/2 of the other students who appeared at the blood center did so (43%). Even for future favors, the rejection-then-retreat strategy proved superior.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Strangely enough, then it seems that the rejection-then-retreat tactic spurs people not only to agree to a desired request but actually to carry out the request and, finally, to volunteer to perform further requests.
• Rejection-then-retreat - As long as it is not viewed to be a transparent trick, the concession will likely stimulate a return concession.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Positive by-products of the act of concession: feelings of greater responsibility for, and satisfaction with, the arrangement. It is this set of sweet side effects that enables the technique to move it's victims to fulfill their agreements and to engage in further such agreements.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Responsibility: Those subjects facing the opponent who used the retreating strategy felt most responsible for the final deal. These subjects reported that they had successfully influenced the opponent to take less money for himself.
• Rejection-then-retreat - The requesters concession within the technique not only causes targets to say yes more often, it also causes them to feel more responsible for having "dictated" the final agreement. A person who feels responsible for the terms of a contract will be more likely to live up to that contract.
• Rejection-then-retreat - Satisfaction: Even though, on the average, they gave the most money to the opponent who used the concessions strategy, the subjects who were the targets of this strategy were the most satisfied with the final arrangement. It appears that an agreement that has been forged through the concessions of ones opponent is quite satisfying.